Separation is rarely simple, and for professionals with significant assets and career considerations, the complexities extend far beyond financial issues. One area that causes a surprising level of friction and heartache is holiday arrangements for the children. When they go, where they go, what they do and with whom can all become deeply contentious issues, particularly when international travel, differing parenting styles and new partners enter the mix.

In this article, Felicia Munde, an associate in our Divorce and Family team, discusses the sometimes fraught topic of arranging holidays with your children after separating from your partner.

Stewarts’ recent survey of professionals revealed that thirty-nine percent of separated parents worry about having a say in where their children go on holiday, what they do there and who they’re with. Twenty-one percent reported being unable to agree holiday arrangements at all, with twelve percent having to involve the courts. Interestingly, fifteen percent of the professionals surveyed said they chose to continue holidaying together as a family despite being separated, a choice that can work for some but is far from straightforward for most.

Why do holiday disputes arise?

For separated parents, especially those with demanding careers, holidays are invaluable opportunities to create lasting memories and strengthen family bonds. Disputes related to the issue of holidays can, therefore, be complex and emotionally charged. Practical challenges, such as disruptions to education and established routines, frequently arise. Compounding these are emotional concerns such as feelings of exclusion, fears of being sidelined or other anxieties that can quickly heighten tensions. In addition, welfare and safety considerations are often raised, adding another layer of complexity, particularly in highly sensitive cases.

What are your options?

1. Post-separation discussions and parenting plans

A constructive starting point is to discuss holiday arrangements with your former partner openly and, where possible, outline them in a well-structured parenting plan. This plan can establish clear expectations regarding how school holidays are divided, including provisions for international travel, notice requirements and the sharing of essential information. By setting these arrangements in advance, parents can minimise conflict, create a sense of stability and ensure that the child or children maintain meaningful relationships with both parents after separation.

2. Non-court dispute resolution

Before resorting to court proceedings, mediation or other forms of non-court dispute resolution should be explored and attempted, as they often provide a more constructive and less adversarial approach to resolving such disputes. These methods enable both parties to express their concerns, negotiate solutions in a structured and supportive setting, and work towards reaching a prompt agreement that fosters an amicable and cooperative co-parenting relationship. Parents should seek legal advice in order to determine the most appropriate forum in their specific case.

3. Seeking the court’s assistance

If parents are unable to reach an agreement, they may apply to the court for a decision. A Specific Issue Order allows a parent to seek approval for a specific holiday or travel arrangement. Conversely, a Prohibited Steps Order can be sought to prevent a trip from taking place, particularly in cases of high conflict or where there are concerns about abduction, retention or potential harm. Where a wider formal agreement is needed regarding the child arrangements generally, a Child Arrangements Order can be sought specifying future holiday arrangements and travel permissions. In all instances, parents should seek legal advice prior to making such an application and the court’s paramount consideration is the children’s welfare.

4. Can holidaying together work?

While this arrangement may not be suitable for everyone, it can work well in cases where co-parenting relationships remain strong, and there is a shared commitment to maintaining a sense of normalcy for the children. However, it requires clear boundaries, mutual respect and thoughtful planning to ensure a positive experience for everyone involved.

Holiday harmony

For separated couples, establishing clear holiday arrangements helps prevent unnecessary conflict, protects the children’s emotional well-being, and ensures stability for all involved.

If you are facing challenges around holiday arrangements post-separation, our Divorce and Family team at Stewarts is here to help you find practical, tailored solutions.

Partner Toby Atkinson says: “If you’re navigating a separation, consider addressing holidays early on. It might save you from stress later and help ensure that your children’s time away remains a source of joy, not tension.”