‘Divorce Day’ is a relatively modern term which refers to the first working Monday of every new year, potentially the first opportunity for anyone considering divorce to take the first step towards legally separating from their partner – seeking specialist legal advice.

In truth, the more accurate picture might be that January is ‘divorce month’. Stewarts’ data consistently points to a peak in divorce enquiries in the first month of the year (as well as a second peak in September following the school holidays). In a recent survey we conducted, financial matters, family responsibilities and the pursuit of a ’perfect Christmas’ were all cited as factors that could affect a couple’s relationship.

In this article, Ben Connor explains why the new year might be stressful for couples and the potential first steps for someone looking to file for divorce.

Why does ‘Divorce Day’ fall in January?

Tensions within a relationship can reach a breaking point during holiday periods. The pressure to create the ‘perfect’ Christmas, the burden of entertaining extended family and an absence of time alone without the distraction of work and a more normal day-to-day routine can all put strain on a relationship. Once the frantic activity surrounding Christmas is over, a period of reflection often follows as couples contemplate a fresh start heading into the new year.

Our recent survey of more than 800 people in the UK found:

• 28% of people said financial matters during the holiday period were their primary concern, rising to 37% of those aged 35-54 and 38% of those with children under 18;
• 33% of 25-34 year olds felt pressured by having to host extended family;
• 87% of parents with a child or children under 18 reported stress in the Christmas period compared to just 60% of couples with no children;
• 37% of couples say Christmas had led them to question their relationship’s future, but this falls to 20% for couples married longer than 20 years.

Toby Atkinson, Partner in our Divorce and Family team, comments:

Top tips when considering a divorce

More enquiries to divorce lawyers in early January often means more applications for divorce being filed with the court at a similar time. The current delays within the family courts are a source of significant disruption for separating couples (and their children) as extended periods of litigation inevitably result in higher legal costs and more damage being done to already strained relationships.

It is often said that it is not the divorce, but the way that you divorce that impacts relationships and children of the family. If you are going through a separation at this (or any) time of year, the below tips are designed to help manage and minimise the pressure of a potentially acrimonious phase in your life.

Divorce is not an overnight decision.

A new year often promises a new start, but reaching the difficult conclusion to separate will often be months or even years in the making. People do not choose to separate because it is a cold, miserable Monday in January and the label of ‘divorce day’ does little to help break down the stigma around divorce.

Divorce is about the future and not the past – having total confidence and conviction in your decision to separate will enable you to take control, make the right decisions and benefit in the long term.

Assemble a specialist support team

Family law is a specialist area and it is paramount that you have the right expertise in place to support you through what can be a complex, legal landscape. A good family lawyer will allow you to negotiate from a position of knowledge, enabling you to engage with the process with confidence and pragmatism.

An experienced family lawyer will be accustomed to the challenges couples face when divorcing and will also be able to recommend coaches or therapists, if appropriate, who are the right fit and can help channel stresses in the right way.

Explore alternative dispute resolution

The backlog of cases within the family court has prompted the judiciary to implement new rules designed to ensure family law advisers encourage their clients to attempt to resolve disputes outside of court. The legal landscape is constantly evolving and a good family lawyer will be able to provide guidance on the options available in line with your particular circumstances and objectives.

Alternative dispute resolution can be very appealing, offering couples privacy in contrast to the increasingly ‘public’ court system. Arbitration, for instance, can allow separating couples to mimic the court process but with a tailored timetable, typically resulting in a quicker and more cost-effective procedure. Most importantly, the arbitration process is confidential and outside of the gaze of the public-eye.

See the bigger picture

In the midst of a separation it can become easy to lose sight of what really matters. A court process culminating in a final hearing may at times be unavoidable, but there will be many opportunities for separating couples to settle matters before a judge is required to bring proceedings to a conclusion.

Whilst it takes two to tango, compromise can be king and the time, cost and energy saved by pursuing alternative dispute resolution will often outweigh the benefit of a marginally more favourable settlement.