Felicia Munde, Associate in our Children team explains how early preparations can help separated parents manage the festive period.

The festive season is a cherished time for families, offering parents a valuable opportunity to spend meaningful moments with their children. Yet for separated parents, this can bring emotional complexity and logistical challenges.

There is no single template for celebrating the festive season after a relationship breakdown. Each family’s circumstances, routines and needs are unique. The positive news is that with early planning, cooperation, and (where required) legal guidance, separated parents can shape a festive period that feels balanced, peaceful and centred on the wellbeing of their children.

How to manage the child arrangements

When discussions arise between separated parents, the children’s wellbeing and needs should be at the centre of every discussion and decision. It is also important to consider the wishes and feelings of the children themselves, depending on their age and understanding.

What parents need to consider over the festive period

There are no fixed rules about dividing the holiday time and the right plan very much depends on the family circumstances.

Separated parents need to consider what will help the children to fully enjoy the festive season to the full extent. Wherever possible, this may include maintaining familiar traditions, minimising stress and travel, and ensuring that both parents have meaningful time with the children (so long as it is safe for each parent to do so).

It is also important for separated parents to recognise that both parents are likely to want to have quality time with their children over this time of year.

How the children’s time may be shared

Some separated parents may choose to share the holidays equally, while others may agree on an arrangement that is more weighted towards one parent if this better supports the children’s routine or emotional needs.

Additionally, alternating key festive days (Christmas Day and New Year’s Day) each year can also work well. This allows the children to enjoy a full celebration with each parent in alternate years and provides a predictable pattern for the whole family.

For those separated parents that live near each other, it may be possible to split the main festive days, for example whereby one parent has the children on Christmas Eve/Christmas Day morning and the other has the children on Christmas Day evening/Boxing Day each year.

The arrangements are naturally more complex for those separated parents who live further apart (perhaps in different cities or countries). Even short journeys at this time of year can be draining for children and can dampen the festive spirit. For families where long-haul travel or time differences are involved, a more practical arrangement (often tailored towards older children) may be for the children to spend the entire holiday period with one parent one year, and with the other parent the following year. This avoids handovers during the festivities and offers children a calm, uninterrupted celebration, but it is not always appropriate as it results in a significant time away from one parent.

Travelling overseas over the festive period

If international travel with the children is planned, the first step for a separated parent is to consider parental responsibility and any existing court orders that may regulate or restrict travel. In most circumstances, a parent wishing to take their child abroad will need the consent of the other parent in advance. Securing this agreement early helps avoid last-minute disruption.

Where consent is not forthcoming, the travelling parent may need to seek permission from the court. Given the time-sensitive nature of the festive season, early conversations and preparations are essential.

Legal options for separated parents

It often proves difficult for separated parents to reach an agreement on where a child should spend the festive period, and this is where parents may need the assistance of a specialist legal adviser.

A children law solicitor can help parents navigate disagreements constructively and explore non-court dispute resolution options such as mediation or arbitration.

Mediation provides a confidential and collaborative environment in which parents can work towards an agreement. While a mediator facilitates the discussion, they cannot impose a decision. An arbitrator, however, can make a binding determination, offering a quicker and often less stressful alternative to court proceedings. There are other non-court dispute resolution options which a family law solicitor can advise on.

If an agreement cannot be reached

If non-court dispute resolution options are exhausted, a parent may apply to the family court for an order to determine the arrangements for the children over the festive season. Court proceedings can take time, even when urgent, so it is essential to begin discussions in good time.

In any event, by prioritising the children’s needs and approaching discussions with a spirit of cooperation, separated parents can help to ensure that the festive season remains a time of joy, stability and celebration despite the challenges that may arise.

Where needed, guidance from a specialist children law solicitor can help you find a workable, child-focused solution.

Five festive co-parenting tips for separated parents:

1. Plan early: Begin conversations before the season becomes busy to avoid last-minute conflict.
2. Put the children first: Keep their wellbeing and sense of security at the heart of every decision.
3. Be flexible: Alternating Christmas/New Year arrangements each year can feel fair and a balanced option for both parents.
4. Communicate clearly: Maintain respectful, child-focussed discussions and confirm plans in writing where helpful.
5. Seek legal advice when needed: A specialist family law solicitor can explain your rights, responsibilities and available options.

Our Children team at Stewarts specialises in complex disputes regarding children and the team can support you in developing a tailored arrangement that best promotes your children’s welfare and works smoothly for everyone involved.