Divorce has long been framed as an adversarial process- a battle with winners and losers. From Kramer vs Kramer to Marriage Story, popular culture has reinforced the idea that separation necessarily involves conflict, blame and emotional fallout.
Yet, in 2026, that narrative is increasingly out of step with how many families want to approach separation.
Across England and Wales, separating couples are looking for ways to resolve matters constructively, protect children, preserve stability and move forward with dignity. A “positive divorce” does not mean an easy or pain-free one. It means approaching separation in a way that is informed, proportionate and focused on long-term outcomes rather than short-term point-scoring.
- Reframing compromise as control
Compromise is often seen as a loss. In reality, it can be a means of retaining control.
When disputes are determined by the court, decisions are taken out of the parties’ hands. Negotiated outcomes, by contrast, allow separating couples to shape solutions that reflect their own priorities and family dynamics. A settlement reached voluntarily is often more durable, and less emotionally costly, than one imposed after contested litigation.
Importantly, compromise does not require either party to “give in”. With the right advice, it can open the door to creative solutions that a court simply does not have the power to impose.
- Mediation and alternative dispute resolution: not just for the amicable
Mediation and other forms of alternative dispute resolution (ADR) are sometimes portrayed as suitable only for couples who remain on good terms. This is a misconception.
ADR processes are specifically designed to manage conflict. They can be effective even where communication has broken down completely or emotions are running high. Many mediations take place without parties ever being in the same room and are structured to ensure that emotions are kept in check and discussions remain focused and productive.
In practice, some of the most entrenched disputes can be resolved through ADR precisely because it moves the conversation away from blame and towards problem-solving.
- Divorce is rarely “all or nothing”
Court proceedings and ADR are not mutually exclusive.
In many cases, proceedings are issued to provide structure or momentum, while negotiations or mediation continue in parallel. This flexible approach allows matters to progress without closing off opportunities for settlement.
A positive divorce strategy is rarely about choosing a single path at the outset. It is about remaining open to resolution at every stage and using the court process proportionately rather than as a default.
- The value of qualified advice
Divorce is an area where advice is plentiful- but not always reliable.
Friends, family, online forums and social media can offer reassurance, but they rarely reflect the legal realities of individual cases. Acting on unqualified advice can entrench unrealistic expectations and increase conflict.
By contrast, early guidance from specialist family lawyers helps separating couples understand their options, manage risk and make informed decisions. In practice, taking, and listening to, qualified advice almost never leads to a worse outcome.
- Recognising power imbalance and coercive behaviour
A positive divorce does not mean ignoring risk. Subtle power imbalances, including coercive or controlling behaviour, can become more pronounced during separation.
Such dynamics are not always obvious. One party may appear calm and persuasive, while the other seems distressed or inconsistent. Without awareness, this imbalance can be misunderstood, leading to unfair outcomes or unsafe processes.
Where these issues arise, the solution is not necessarily to abandon non-court resolution, but to modify the approach: using specialist support, careful process design and, where appropriate, parallel parenting or structured communication models to reduce harm and protect those most affected.
- Focusing on the future, not just the past
For many families, divorce marks not the end of a relationship but its redefinition, particularly where children are involved.
Decisions made during separation can shape co-parenting arrangements and family dynamics for years to come. Approaches that reduce conflict and promote cooperation can have lasting benefits well beyond the conclusion of legal proceedings.
A positive divorce looks forward rather than backward: prioritising stability, clarity and the ability for all parties to move on.
Looking ahead: divorce in 2026
Separating families are navigating a challenging environment, shaped by ongoing cost and resource pressures and greater awareness of mental and emotional wellbeing. At the same time, there is growing recognition that adversarial processes are not always the best fit for modern family life.
The opportunity lies in using the full range of dispute-resolution tools available, including mediation and other forms of ADR, to achieve outcomes that are fair, sustainable and focused on the future.
A positive divorce is not about avoiding difficult conversations. It is about choosing a process that reduces unnecessary conflict, supports better decision-making and enables families to move on rather than remain defined by separation.
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